There’s an assumption that’s made about ballroom dancing sometimes, that many opportunities are closed to you if you didn’t learn to dance from a very early age. And I confess, it’s an assumption that I believed as well, though I didn’t know it at first.
When I became a ballroom dance instructor with under 10 years of dance experience, I expected skepticism from the other instructors and students at the studio. Like many who read this blog, I felt I had my work cut out for me if I wanted seen as a true dancer.
What I didn’t anticipate however, was that the biggest skepticism would come from my own mind. My first years at the studio were threatened by debilitating self-doubt. Every aspect of my dancing seemed harder, more exhausting, more frustrating. My own mind rebelled against me, told me I was wasting my time. Sound familiar?
Transforming Self-Doubt into Self-Empowerment
When something you love as much as dancing becomes a chore, it’s time to figure out what’s sabotaging you. Here’s a few things I tried:
- Talking to friends.
- Writing down my thoughts in a journal.
- Practicing through the frustration.
- Reading about frustrating experiences other students and instructors had overcome.
- Visualizing myself as a more confident, capable person.
In doing so, I came to understand myself better, what pushed me forward and held me back. It’s important to recognize these limiting beliefs within yourself - only then can you replace it with something that empowers and motivates you.
One of the most important truths I ever embraced was to recognize that no matter who you are or what you are capable of, you have something to offer that no one else has seen before.
For example, I realized my later start in dance gave me a unique perspective on what it was like a beginner. Even my self-doubts helped me understand and support other dancers who faced the same feelings - hence this article.
Make Room for Desire. Leave No Room for Fear.
In my experiences and research, I’ve seen countless examples of people who choose to learn to dance, no matter the cost. I’ve seen 90-year old salsa dancers, wheelchair dancers, one and no-legged dancers, and one-armed dancers. I’ve seen them not only dance, but compete, and win.
These weren’t people born with some special gift - in fact, they had to fight against overwhelming odds. But they believed they had something special to give the world, and didn’t entertain possibilities that it was ‘too late’ for them. Likewise, I have taught hundreds of students, with many more reading the articles I publish weekly.
Living your passion rather than concealing it creates true confidence within yourself. When you learn to dance, true confidence isn’t about constantly proving yourself, or portraying yourself as some perfect specimen. It means accepting that sometimes you aren’t confident, and that is what makes you human.
True confidence means displaying yourself honestly for the world to see, without letting their opinions become your reality. As you learn to dance, remember this: Ability without confidence may satisfy the world, but only ability with confidence will satisfy yourself.
About the Author
Ian Crewe has been dancing ballroom for over 16 years, and has a Licentiate in American smooth and rhythm. He currently teaches at the Joy of Dance Centre, Toronto, ON, Canada. Click here to see when he's teaching.