Last time, we looked at how to make yourself more approachable and more direct when social dancing, scoring yourself more dance partners in the process. Now I’m looking at you, ladies. You know this is the age of equality, and that you can unashamedly ask a gent to dance without getting cut-eye from his friends.
But you don’t want to. It’s fun to have the guys come up to you, to know you’re desirable, at least as a dancing vixen. But it seems like no matter how talented you might be on the floor, they just aren’t willing to make the first move. So let’s break down the barriers that hold them back and find you some partners!
Find the ‘Loading Bays’
After every dance, there’s areas leaders will flock to more than anywhere else, knowing they are most likely to find a willing partner there. This might be a gap between tables, an alcove where people tend to cluster, or just the front of the dance floor. Find your prime piece of real estate in this area, and stake your claim.
Avoid the bar. Good dancers know they will only find newbies there at best - and drunken stilleto-stompers at worst.
Go Solo, and Stand
It’s far more intimidating for a man to approach a group of women sitting together than a single woman standing near the dance floor. If you want to go hang out with your friends, fine - just don’t expect many dances if you do.
Move to the Music
Sway, tap your feet, whatever you like. Let the music absorb you. When I’m looking for a dance partner, my first choice is someone who’s enjoying the music before I even ask. And I know I’m not the only one.
Watch the Dancers
While you’re waiting, you might as well have fun watching the action! Now here’s the difficult part: let your enjoyment show on your face. Show potential partners that even without dancing, you’re having fun. The more you believe it, the more irresistible you become.
By watching the dancing, you can pick out who to say yes to and who to avoid. No one deserves a dance with ‘arm-wrenching Arnold’.
Combine what you’ve learned above with the last article, and you are virtually guaranteed to double the number of dances you’ll get. Just remember that men can be just as nervous about asking as women are about not getting asked. So relax, and get ready for a fun night of social dancing!
(Stay tuned for part 3, where we focus on making your dance experience with your partner so much fun that they’ll ask again and again!)
What if arm-wrenching Arnold asks you to dance?
Good question Beverly, and worthy of a whole new article! While some argue it is never good to refuse anyone, I believe one should never feel they must subject themselves to anyone they feel will actually hurt them. So feign a headache, say your resting for this dance, whatever it takes (and sit this one out, while eyeing a potential replacement for the next dance). If you’d like to know more about dealing with this sort of person, check it out here.
Awesome article. I go through all those check points before asking someone new to dance.