How to Connect With Your Partner

As they say, the devil is in the details. When we lead and follow in a ballroom dance for instance, our movements combine lots of little elements to create this wonderful thing called ‘connection’. To summarize in a diagram:

Forward Weight + Frame + Responsive Pressure = Awesome Ballroom Connection!

The good news is that, once you understand the elements, knowing how to connect with your partner becomes easy, even if you don’t know the actual steps. That’s how we create spontaneity on the dance floor.

Let’s begin with a few commandments to guide us through the valley of dance without losing connection.

1. Thou shalt balance on the balls of thy feet.

In other words, keep your weight forward, as though you were an olympic diver balanced on the end of the board. Understanding how to connect with your partner begins with using your centre of gravity (or the ‘core’) to move your partner’s centre. You weren’t planning on kicking her feet to move her backwards, were you?

2. Thou shalt round thy arms forward.

Consider the ballerina.

With every arm position, much like ballroom, her arms are rounded gently forward. In rhythm/Latin, the arms are curved more towards your partner, as though you were reaching our to embrace her. In smooth/standard, it’s more open, like gently squeezing a giant beach ball.

One all-important rule guides how to connect with your partner using your arms: never completely straighten the elbows or bend them more then 90º, so the hand collapses back towards the shoulder (click here for more detail).

3. Thou shalt retain light but responsive pressure.

Channel your inner Zen-master, and imagine your arms have become like branches on a willow tree. If you push on a tree branch, what happens? The branch moves, but with resistance, and immediately snap back to their original position when you release the pressure.

Likewise, our arm position, or frame, can give a little to soften the connection and prevent jerky movement. Knowing how to connect with your partner also means finding the right amount of arm tension to let this pressure transfer into and move your body, not just your hands. You should be able to guide and respond on time with the movement, without there being any bumps in the ride.

So, think you’ve got dance connection all figured out? Not so fast - there’s a few more pointers on how to connect with your partner, once you start moving around a bit more. See you next week!

About the Author
Ian Crewe has been dancing ballroom for almost 20 years, and has a Licentiate in American smooth and rhythm. His passion for dance and his endless seeking for ways to reach new audiences eventually led him to blogging and the World Wide Web. Ian currently teaches ballroom at the Joy of Dance Centre, Toronto, ON, Canada.

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