How Ballroom Dance Lessons Gave My Life Direction

It occurs to me, dear reader, that I’ve been hiding myself from you. I’ve gone on about how fabulous ballroom dance lessons are for years now, yet I’ve never talked about what a transformative event it was for me.

In the interests of giving you new inspiration for your own progress then, here is the story of how ballroom dance lessons helped shape my own life.

Pre-Dance: Era 1997 - 1999 AD

High school: A pretty bad time to be painfully shy, with an inconsistent attention span, making following even short conversations a challenge. I rarely made eye-contact, spoke infrequently to those I didn’t know well, and to girls, almost never.

Having an overactive imagination for as long as I can remember, I preferred to escape into fantasy realms of lightsabers and mythical magic, rather than deal with the frustrations of reality.

My love-affair with dance began suddenly, walking with my parents out on the sun-baked streets of the summer jazz festival. I was perhaps 15 at the time. Bouncy, upbeat music floated over to me through the crowds of people, and I peered hesitantly over the heads of onlookers to get a better view.

There in front of a restaurant patio, was a live band rocking out to some classic, and in front of them was 3 or 4 couples dancing what I would later know as East Coast Swing. Seeing their happy faces and how closely they held each other, something clicked inside my head.

Early Dance Period: Era 1999 - 2002 AD

It didn’t take long for me to start urging my parents to allow me to take lessons. My parents, knowing that the likelihood of dance still holding my attention longer than a few months was close to nil, suggested I wait until next summer before they enrolled me.

That next year couldn’t go by quickly enough: I had found a secret, the secret to connecting with others that didn’t require my inadequate tongue. I guess mom and dad were surprised when I started pestering them as soon as the days turned warmer again.

My first ballroom dance lessons proved immediately that I did NOT have any natural talent, beyond a basic sense of footwork picked up from Tae Kwon Do lessons. I was wobbly and awkward, but absolutely determined to succeed. And, so slowly I barely noticed, I improved.

The Growing Period: 2002 AD - ?

As my confidence grew, dancing became like a superpower for me: Ordinary shy Ian had difficulty being around girls, but dancing Ian could ask any girl he wanted. It didn’t even matter that I wasn’t taking any of them home - I was proving that I could be a part of something, that I could be ‘normal’.

My imagination, which had mostly seemed to cause problems up to this point, now helped me understand more complicated steps, as I visualized them before I danced them. I also found I didn’t need to ‘escape’ so often, as this new reality I was creating became more enjoyable.

And in the end, the river of confidence lifts all boats. The knowledge that I had finally found something positive to identify myself with helped me in social gatherings, class presentations and job interviews, which is how I eventually started teaching ballroom dance lessons myself.

I’m not pretending that the old Ian is dead and gone, and I don’t want him to be: he helps me remember how far I’ve come, and occasionally puts me in my place when confidence threatens to tip into arrogance.

For those of you on your own journey with ballroom dance lessons however, I hope this helps you realize how valuable dancing has or can be in your own life - and that maybe, you’ve come a lot further than you’ve realized. So keep pushing: The best is yet to come.

About the Author

Ian Crewe has been dancing ballroom for over 16 years, and has a Licentiate in American smooth and rhythm. He currently teaches at the Joy of Dance Centre, Toronto, ON, Canada. Click here to see when he's teaching.