When it comes to ballroom dance socials, some people seem to never lack for a dance partner, regardless of their age. The discriminations that seem to old many senior dancers back just don't apply to them. How do they do it?
Today, we're looking at the habits of these highly popular dancers, and how you can use them to build up you own posse of fun-loving dance partners!
Transcript:
Hi folks! My name is Ian Crewe. I'm an instructor at the Joy of Dance Center in Toronto, Ontario, and the creator of Social Ballroom Dance: Where you can learn your dance, at your place, on your schedule.
How do some 80-year-olds stay as popular at a dance social as an 18-year-old? What's their secret, and how can you learn to do the same?
Well, first of all, remember that a lot of those 80-year-olds are in good mental and physical health, so if you have challenges with either, it might be a little unrealistic to plan to be the most popular dancer at a social. But that does NOT mean that you can't be a lot more popular than where you are right now.
Also, a lot of the tips I'll be giving today work just as well for both older and younger dancers, so regardless of your age, pull up a chair, settle in, you won't regret it!
So there's two different stages to getting more popular: The first is getting more dance partners, and the second is ensuring it's a more fun dance, so that your partner will want to dance with you again in the future.
Remember to start that people dance more with who they know. Sometimes people who don't know you will make judgments based on your age: It's a sad truth that they may assume that you're not going to be as good of a dancer, or maybe that you're not even that's fun of a person.
So prove them wrong! Go back to the same social regularly, smile, nod, make eye contact and start some conversations. Make some friends. The more people see you as the open, friendly, genuine, great person that you are, the more that they will want to dance with you, so go in there and make some connections!
Also remember that how you ACT is a lot more important than how you LOOK. For example, let's say that you are the one waiting to be asked: You want to convey that you can't wait to get on that dance floor! So sit or stand close to the floor, with as few barriers in between you and the floor as possible, smile - that's one's very important, most people forget that - and move a little to the music, even if it's just tapping your foot or nodding your head.
And if you're doing the asking, you'll want to convey that you're confident in your ability. When you are looking for somebody, try and find someone who meets the criteria I was just talking about earlier. Make a direct line towards your target, smile, make some eye contact, offer your hand, and keep your ask as simple as possible: "Hey, wanna dance?"
The reason why this works is the people who are doing the asking want the assurance that they won't be rejected, and the people being asked what the assurance that the other person is confident enough in their abilities that it's going to be a fun dance for them.
Now, traditionally the leader, which is usually the man, does the asking at a social. But more and more women these days are finding that they can get more dances if they do some of the asking themselves, because it preempts the leader's concerns that they're going to get rejected.
Of course they're not going to get rejected! There is a follower asking THEM to dance! So consider if you are a woman or follower doing more of the asking yourself, and you may find that you get a lot more dances than you would have if you had just stayed in the corner waiting.
Now, looking at how to make it sure it's a more fun dance, the first thing to remember - and yes we talked about this in a previous video - is to let the other person know if you have a physical condition. They MAY be able to tell right away that you have some physical condition, but better to let them know in advance, just to be safe.
And you don't need to give them your whole medical history; you know, just let them know the most important details: "Just so you know, my balance can be a little off sometimes, so not too many spins, okay?"
One thing you don't want to do, is don't apologize for yourself, or talk about how bad a dancer you are. I know a lot of people who do this as a way of letting off steam and calming their nerves, but in the long run, it's not doing you any favours, and it's not going to get you any more dance partners either.
DO smile and laugh, especially at your own mistakes (not theirs though, unless you're being self-deprecating about it). And if they have some great moves and they're pretty comfortable with their dancing, at the end of it make sure that you compliment them on their dancing, and always thank your partner after every dance, without exception.
And don't waste your time on rude dancers. I mean, if they're offering some constructive criticism, maybe take it in. But don't waste your time on very negative or ageist comments - or on the people saying them.
So to recap: When it comes to getting more dance partners, make some, eye contact, start some conversations, make sure that people know you to be a more interesting person then they might judge you to be when they first see you.
Make sure that you are conveying confidence when you're asking people to dance, or that you're a fun dancer who can't wait to get on the floor. When you're waiting to be asked, and regardless of whether you're man, woman, leader or follower, don't be afraid to ask someone else to get up.
Let the person know if you have a physical situation, smile and laugh, especially at your mistakes, don't apologize for yourself, and ignore those rude dancers, on and off the floor: It's just not worth your time.
Next week, we're going to interview a dance couple, an older couple, and how they make the most of their own dancing experience.
And if you had any questions or comments, you can message me on my Facebook fan page: Ballroom Dancers Anonymous. Or you can email me at ian@socialballroom.dance.
Or, if you'd like to learn more, subscribe to my YouTube channel, or visit me on my website - you won't regret it. So thank you very much for watching, and happy dancing!