Dance Resolutions, Part One: The Danger of “Easy”

Happy New Year everyone!

Motivation has long been something that fascinates me: This invisible force which can push people to do great things or hold them in mediocrity. And what better time to talk about motivation than when we're all deciding on our resolutions for the year?

Perhaps the reason why motivation can be such an issue is because it requires an understanding into how our mind works, how it seeks out pleasure and aviods pain, sometimes to our long-term detriment. And at the heart of it, is as Tom Bilyeu describes: "A desperate desire for it to be easy."

But easy is not what will make us happy and fulfilled. Here's why.

Transcript:

Hello and Happy New Year everybody! My name is Ian Crewe. I'm an instructor at the Joy of Dance Centre in Toronto, Ontario, and the creator of Social Ballroom Dance, where you can learn your dance, at your place, on your schedule.

It's that time of year when we sit down with a pen and paper (or in front of a computer) and write out some of the things that we want to accomplish in 2018. Unfortunately, although we may go in with the best of intentions, we often do not end up accomplishing those goals. Why is that?

Now, it might be because there's a resistance to change within us. Most of us have a desire to stay within our comfort zones and that can hold us back from improving ourselves as human beings. And for others there is a fear that we're not  going to be successful, that we're not good enough.

But mostly, I think it's because, as the entrepreneur Tom Bilyeu once said: "There exists within all of us a desperate desire for it to be easy." But that can never be. And you know what? That doesn't have to be a bad thing.

See, I have a theory that the people who have had wealth and power simply given to them are among some of the most miserable people on the planet. How many people have you read about who had everything going for them and yet they managed to screw up their health, their wealth, and their marriage?

These people found out the hard way that wealth and power without the mental growth and maturity required to handle that, is a recipe for disaster. And that's just speaking from a practical standpoint: There is even more importantly, the deeper spiritual truth that if we do not have to work for something it holds no intrinsic value to us.

We don't appreciate what we've been simply given - we appreciate what we fight for, what we pour in blood, sweat, and tears for, what we work and train and grow for, because it is in that process that we develop a sense of pride and  satisfaction. In other words, without the pain of struggle, there can be no glory of growth.

And the fact is, it won't be easy. For myself as a dance instructor, there have been times when I was so frustrated with my lack of progress, that I wanted to give up. Hey you know what - I STILL feel that frustration sometimes.

But I remember how good it feels to push through and manage to conquer that technique or that pattern and leave it behind me in my wake, and that is where I find the strength that I need to continue.

See, you have to remember why you got dancing in the first place, because if you can make peace with that struggle, if you can hang on to your goals and push towards them, despite all the frustration that you'll have to deal with as you grow, and improve, and pile on technique after technique, because you realize that on the other side of that is a better version of you, the view that you want to be - then you will have acquired the determination you need to have anything you desire.

And that will make you stand out, not only as a dancer, but as an individual. As Angela Duckworth notes: "Enthusiasm is common. but endurance is rare."

Now I have a question for you: What are your resolutions for 2018, and how do you plan to go about sticking to them? Post in the comments below so that people can benefit from your ideas and advice.

And if you have any questions or comments, please message me on my Facebook fan page, Ballroom Dancers Anonymous. Or you can email me at ian@socialballroom.dance. Or if you'd like to know more, subscribe to my YouTube page or visit my website - there's a ton of great dance material there that you can take advantage of in your own journey as a dancer.

Next week, we're going to be looking a little more deeply at how to keep promises and maintain our sense of integrity to ourselves, but until then, happy dancing!

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