The magic of the dance floor brings together people of all ages, careers, and creeds, as long as they have the steps, and the smile to back it up. So naturally, it’s a great place for finding love, even if you’re normally nervous as a fainting goat anywhere else.
This article is primarily for the fellas, since finding love is the biggest reason most men get into dancing in the first place. A lot of this advice goes both ways however, so stick around ladies!
1. Avoid jumping to conclusions
Dancing creates a safe place where people can let out a more fun, sexier, freer side of themselves. It does not mean they’re looking to take you home at a moment’s notice. Yes, it’s hard to remember that when locked eye-to-eye in your favourite dance. But especially if you’re new to the scene, shelve the suggestive comments and invitations, no exceptions. Nobody wants to dance with someone who doesn’t know where the personal boundaries are.
2. If you're not having fun, you're missing the point
If you go into ballroom dancing with the attitude that you’re going to ‘pick up’, that’s the attitude you will convey, and women will just avoid you. Switch the focus from finding love to just enjoying yourself, at least until you’ve gotten comfortable with the scene and built up some good dance partners. That way, you’ll come across as someone fun, safe and therefore date-worthy, not a creep looking for fast-action.
3. Personality + Dance Ability = Cute Dance Partners!
Dancing is a language spoken with the body (I’m in a very Zen mood), so the better you speak the language, the more interesting ‘conversations’ you can have, and the more people will want to ‘talk’ with you. But if you’re bent on finding love, your personality needs to shine as well.
Take the qualities everyone is drawn to - confidence, a sense of humour, eye contact and a smile - onto the floor with you, and you’ll be amazed how much it boosts your popularity.
4. Be fancy at your own risk
This is not (is it ever?) the time to try out that awesome step or new arm-styling you just learned in that group class last week. Finding love through dancing requires making your partner feel safe in your arms. If you can impress her, without throwing her around like a rag doll, great. But stick with what you know, and know well.
5. When it’s okay to make a move
No matter how much she seems to dig you on the dance floor, take this golden rule for finding love to heart and spare yourself a world of embarrassment: If the only time she flirts with you is on the dance floor, she is NOT interested.
Here’s my personal recommendation on how to ease into romance territory:
- Say some variation of ‘That was great! It’s hard to find someone who makes the dance that easy. Why don’t we exchange numbers so we can let the other know if we’re heading out to a dance that night?’
- If she’s still smiling, invite her back to your table to talk further. It’s okay if she turns this down however - you can always get to know her in a future outing.
- Stay in touch, and stay in the scene, inviting her to join you dancing about once/week.
- From here it’s up to you to judge how warm she is towards you. Maybe she starts talking with you more off the dance floor, so you can suggest moving the conversation to a nearby cafe. Or maybe you let her know you’re in the area if she’d like to grab a bite to eat before the dance. If she says yes to either, odds are in your favour.
Of course, if you’re more experienced in the dating scene, and she’s giving strong signals of interest, you may be able move things along more quickly. Just remember that one-night stands tend to jeopardize a long-term relationship.. and might lead to some awkward encounters on the dance floor later. Good luck!
Ladies, any other ideas for finding love through dance? Fellas, what did you try that helped you get the girl?
Credits:
GoDanceMambo (Currently GoDanz)
Dance Forums
Beyond Dance Etiquette
About the Author
Ian Crewe has been dancing ballroom for almost 20 years, and has a Licentiate in American smooth and rhythm. His passion for dance and his endless seeking for ways to reach new audiences eventually led him to blogging and the World Wide Web. Ian currently teaches ballroom at the Joy of Dance Centre, Toronto, ON, Canada.
Thank you for these tips. I have encountered a man on the dance floor who appears to be interested but only when we are dancing. Also i think he is saying this to other dance partners as well. I did not realize that this may be common and acceptable on the dance floor. Now I do. so the next time I will not read a future into his comments, just put them on the shelf.
Sounds wise 😉