Now that we’ve delved into what draws the ladies to the dance floor, it’s our dancing gents turn! In Western culture, male dancers tend to begin dance with nervousness at best, and shame at liking such a ‘sissy’ activity at worst. Yet, men stand to gain just as much from ballroom dance as their lady-friends. Let’s look at what men really want from ballroom dancing, and what keeps them coming back.
Men Really Want to be Protective
Whether we admit it or not, us fellas - and ladies too - are drawn to the confident male archetype: the powerful but polite gent who can handle any situation without losing his cool.
What men really want is any chance to bring out that inner confidence. Partner dancing is perfect for this, since his job is to guide and protect his partner, to show her a fun time and make her feel safe and beautiful in his arms.
Ladies, sometimes your male partner makes mistakes (shocking, I know). Sometimes you may want to ‘help’ him get it faster, by correcting his technique. But do this very gently, and sparingly, because a critique of his abilities by the opposite sex can devastate that confidence he’s working so hard on building.
When possible, let him figure it out on his own or with an instructor. Just remember that the more you let him do his thing, the more beautiful you look doing yours.
Men Really Want to be the Best
Little known truth: Women may dance more, but the better dancers tend to be skewed towards men. Why? Because once a man’s ego gets involved, once he realizes he can be the best at his craft, he often pushes himself even harder then his partner! What men really want is to demonstrate their skill, as it engages their competitive nature, and demonstrates suitability as a mating partner.
This creates a delicate situation if he’s stepping on your feet and you want to let him know about it - without making him feel he’s failed in your eyes. If you’re not about to get hurt, it’s usually best to wait a bit to see if the instructor gets to it - most of the time, they’ve already noticed, but are focusing on a more pressing issue first. If they haven’t noticed, either ask them about it when he goes for his water break, or if you must, phrase it as a question.
Men Really Want to be Themselves
Like women, men grew up around their own stereotypes. Men are often expected to be interested in sports, to rarely show emotion, and to talk trash about their abilities to others. Sensitive or artistic guys tend to be called ‘sissies’, ‘pansies’, or ‘wimps’ by their male chums.
Men really want to express the hidden parts of themselves in a way that actually earns them respect. True, many men initially keep dancing part of their secret-life, but as they improve and build a posse of willing lady-partners, this becomes much less important.
Ultimately, for both men and women, dance is about finding your identity through exploration of movement. We don’t just want to be told we are beautiful, sexy, handsome, etc. We want to be shown we always were those things. We want them to be brought out of us through dance, over and over, until, finally, we believe them.
Anything I could add here for the fellas? When have you seen how important these values are to your man, ladies?